This German train announcer is simply brilliant.

It translates like this in English:

[…] if you haven’t got a mask you can buy one in our onboard bistro in compartment 25. And finally for all our conspiracy theorists on board, please remember the federal government secretly collects saliva samples to produce clones that will replace you. Therefore wear your face mask at all times to prevent the government gathering your DNA. Thank you, also in the name of fellow travellers.