Covid Confessions

It’s Wednesday Jan 6th 2021 and today, as last country in the EU, the first person got vaccinated. A nurse working in a care home got the honour. Today is also the day word got out that lock-down, the unintelligent kind, probably gets extended by at least two weeks. Considering the number of people who still get infected on a daily basis that doesn’t come as a surpise to me. Still, I’m not looking forward to more weeks of keeping Daughter entertained while working and starting my data science course later this month. It will be hectic and not the most fun period for Daughter, the Man and myself.

Somehow people feel less urgency to keep their distance. Most people I speak to have been visiting multiple addresses during the holidays. When you visit multiple people over multiple days, one person can easily infect two or more people. Who then might infect others in their household. Who might have visited others before showing any signs of infections. And the virus spreads happily ever after.

The Man, designated groceries shopper, notices people feel less inclined to keep their distance to others inside the supermarket. Perhaps this is indeed a psychological effect of wearing face masks, giving people a false sense of safety. Others have reported to avoid certain supermarkets at certain hours as they’re overly crowded.

I hear people talk about going to the office, but only a few days a week. I wouldn’t take that risk. Especially not when working together with people in their (early) twenties, who behave their age (drink in life), or their parents (between fifty and sixty). These two groups are overly represented in the infection rates.

As long as people keep doing what they’ve been doing the pas month, we will be in this situation at least until Spring. Or however long it takes for the Sun to start shining and burn the virus from the air with stronger UV radiation.

At some time during Spring or Summer 2020 I played with the idea of renting a place somewhere in Europe for a longer period, so we could at least change surroundings for a while. That idea is back. Go somewhere warmer. Or somewhere where there is snow. Of course that will never happen. But one is allowed to imagine.

Door |2021-01-06T19:19:23+02:006 januari 2021|flow|0 Reacties

Back to work

I felt grumpy, sad, tense, focussed, improductieve, refreshed and content today. The roller coaster of emotions during the first day of (attempting to) work in 2021. Yet another new rhythm to get used to with Daughter not attending school for at least two weeks (I wouldn’t be surprised school closures will be prolonged as we’re nowhere near low infection rates). She has some assignments from school to keep her entertained, but our main focus is to keep her busy with fun stuff and play outdoors as much as we can, despite the wet and grey days. I’m finishing this day with a large mug of green tea and Melody Gardot singing for me. A great recipe to melt the tension and feel…slightly relaxed even.

Door |2021-01-04T20:53:39+02:004 januari 2021|flow|0 Reacties

The gift of spending time together

Amidst peak covid19 season we distanced ourselves for a while to be able to pay my parents a long and worry free visit. When we went for a walk, and the Man and I were told by Daughter to walk behind her I concluded it was the best gift we could give her and my parents. And myself.


Door |2021-01-03T16:59:13+02:003 januari 2021|deze dag|1 Reactie


Most years we spend the last day of the year with dear friends in Switzerland. This year we bake our own oliebollen in our own country. We do keep in line with the tradition to bake outdoors and drink champagne while rating the oliebollen.

Cheers to the future!



Door |2020-12-31T19:40:56+02:0031 december 2020|deze dag|0 Reacties


Here I am, at the end of the year. That year. 

I sit on my black chair. It started squeaking around midsummer.  
My butt never leaves the chair since October. Not even when I leave the room.
Me and my favourite chair, our relationship became tense in December. We simply spent too many hours together.

I’m waiting to be admitted to my friends’ room.
While waiting I touch my cheek. Rub it softly. 
A bleak compensation for all the missed kisses.

I’m admitted. I see a face. A rectangular cut out of a familiar space.
I dressed up for the occasion. I put on my bright green blouse.
My friend can’t see the sweat pants I’ve been wearing since March. Nor smell it.

We chat for a bit and I feel surprisingly happy.
We reminisce about the places we once travelled.
We agree we don’t miss the airport drill, but wouldn’t mind for the metro to drive us through London.

Oh, London. Where are you now? Where are you now?

My friend starts crying. I reach for a hand. I grab a cold white mouse instead.
After a while we exchange a last wave and before I know it I’m staring at my cluttered desk again.

The screen turns black and I see my silhouette reflected.
Here I am. Still. At the end of the year. That year.

The year that was a first act in this improv theater.
I acted content, frustrated, hopeful, fearful, insightful, glad and sad
in this biggest theater, on the smallest stage with the biggest invisible actor of this century.

I hope.

I revive the screen. I open a new window to the world.
A world preparing behind the curtains for the second act.
Who knows how long the second act will be?

To jab or not to jab, that is the question.

I close the world and turn around in my beloved chair. 
I turn off the lights and while I descent into my smallest, biggest life I realize something: 

I’m OK
I’m OK
I’m OK
I’m OK

P.S. : shake 2020 off Swiftly.

Door |2020-12-31T15:20:48+02:0031 december 2020|366, flow|0 Reacties
Laad meer berichten
Ga naar de bovenkant